Saying goodbye to buying without trying

This was a sad week for me. It's the first time that I've really come to grips with the fact that men's clothing is going down a dark path. This dark path is not related to price, size, or color; although I do have observations in those areas as well. No, today I want to talk about SIZE.

Now it's a widely held belief that women have to try every article of clothing on before purchasing, even if it's a bandana. I don't want anyone to think that I am bashing women here, I certainly am not. They are victims. The crime being committed against them is a game of smoke and mirrors, one where inconsistent sizes are thought to be the standard for the shopping experience.

I've often heard women make statements like, "I'm a 4 at Banana Republic, but I'm an 6 at Ann Taylor Loft." Remarks like that used to make my head explode. How is it possible that something that was created around a set of dimensions (inseam, length, whatever it may be) has so dramatically moved off the mark?

The best explanation I have been able to come up with is that this is to trap the customer in some twisted game of flattery, which then sends retailer against retailer into a downward spiral of size. Before you know it the girl who was a 12 is now a 2. That all said, I didn't really think much about this while it was happening, frankly it just didn't affect me all that much.

While women played the guessing game, I would just walk up to the rack and pick up a pair of 32/32 pants- knowing they would fit exactly the way I'd expect.

But now, be warned gentlemen-- this is no longer the case. Lately in my quest for a new pair of slacks, I've discovered a disturbing truth: items fit differently depending on where I buy them. What? How could this be? We are guys-- we visit clothing stores on average twice per year, please don't make this difficult on us!

Dearest Banana Republic, I'll be returning your so called 32/32's tonight, and I'm not looking forward to visiting those small little rooms with the mirrors. Wait, what are those called again?